Guys don’t care about your dang dog!! No wonder you’re single.

The title says it all.
I’m not even kidding.
Contrary to what many people think, I’m not a big dater (because I really don’t care that much, AND have you seen the options out here?! Let’s just say they’re not really motivating me to change my awesome, no drama, no craycray lifestyle.).
Even though I don’t date, this guy DOES love to go out, meet women, have fun, laugh, flirt & just enjoy life.
So, in the pursuit of fun, & possibly meeting someone cool, I’ve been on some dating apps.
From Tinder, to Bumble, to whatever the latest app my friends tell me ‘I MUST get on!’, I’ve seen a lot of profiles.
In the midst of a flurry of swiping left on the plethora of ladies that don’t even stir a bit of attraction within me, I notice a reoccurring theme, girls kissing, cuddling, spooning & sleeping with their damn dogs!
I thought this crap had hoped had died out, along w/ duck face.
(Duck face, yet ANOTHER stupid ass fad that I wish women would stop! Seriously, men make fun of these pics! It turns out that these two annoying fads are harder to kill than Freddy Krueger!)
I don’t get it!
Even if you ladies DO love you dogs that much, umm, you DO realize your pics scream “I love my dog sooo much, that you can never come between us!!”, right!?
Look, NO MAN CARES how much you love Mitsy, Phoebe, Precious, or whatever annoying ass name you’ve given your 5lb rat, I mean dog!
If he claims he does, he’s doing it to get some!
Bad ladies!

This is what every ladies dating profile looks like! BTW, this is NOT a dating profile pic, but just a random internet pic. Aint nobody got time for lawsuits!

Stop kissing your damn dogs, as you cuddle them like their HUMAN babies!
If you want to cuddle a baby, then stop loving animals more than men, & go find a man!
Stop talking about your dog, and then wondering why no man sticks around!
It’s because you love the dog more than him!
Stop … stop …STOP!!!
Maaaybe if some of you ladies treated men as lovingly as you treat these annoying, long haired rats, you’d be married by now … or at least on your way.
Hey, but what do I know, I’m just a guy who knows how men think, & what we say, while your at home watching Netflix, cuddled up with ‘your boo’.

Seriously ladies, I’m trying to help you out.
I know dogs give ya unconditional love, but you have a choice: either stay single, I mean married to your dog, OR take a chance, experience the same pains of love men have to deal with and possibly find the love of your life.
Your choice.
I dont care either way.
Actually, that’s a lie, because maybe many of you will stop posting these creepy “I’m waaay to in love with my dog” pics.

One thought on “Guys don’t care about your dang dog!! No wonder you’re single.

  1. Great piece. It’s so funny as I’ve noticed how much they thing their furry friends is supposed to show their softer side. I guess my age is showing as when I was dating, before you were born, the only ‘poodle’ in a girls life was her skirt. Thanks for your great insight, as always.

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